The Mayor’s TV interview…what she should have said

Yesterday Channel 7 News interviewed Mayor Paz. See how it went….and see (in parenthesis) what she SHOULD have said if she was interested in telling the truth:

Well, the clock is now complete and its official unveiling is set for New Year’s Eve. It’s a dream come true for the Mayor who says she got the idea whilst visiting the island’s sister city in Wilmington, North Carolina. Today in a telephone conversation with 7 News, the Mayor says the clock is already drawing rave reviews, even from some of those who objected to it in the first place.

Elsa Paz, Mayor of San Pedro Town

“Yes, it’s true,  (not true, none of this is true except the word “clock”) I would like to comment on that part because we had like 84 people that opposed on the clock, (most of the island really but who is counting) but because I had letters that was sent to my office and there were like 41 people that said that they do like the idea of the clock,  (but they hated the idea of the religious message boards, the backhanders I took and the fact that it’s on public property but I didn’t take any notice of those bits) but they didn’t like that location, because their concern was the obstruction of the traffic or the traffic jam on the main street. (a problem I solved easily by closing down the entire block around the clock. It’s really cool now, if you stand by the clock you can barely see the enormous traffic jams it causes elsewhere).  And the other 43 persons that opposed on the clock, they didn’t like the idea any at all.” (So my response to them is my middle finger…come to think of it my middle finger is extended to the whole town because I’m not running for office again, my condo project has been miraculously saved from bank foreclosure and I’m not about to let a quibbling little thing like public outrage or piss poor city planning get in the way of my financial well being).

“After all that I got about 356 signatures of local people that supported that idea of the clock (and a few of the signatures were from people over 8 years old and some of the signatures were even from different people) and because of that I decided to go ahead with the clock. Things right now have been functioning,  (Yes, the traffic is TRULY clogged up and we’re just waiting for our first pedestrian casualty on Buccanneer Street)  it’s ready and I have heard from those same people had commented on the clock and I have heard that they now like it.” (Isn’t that what “Your clock sucks, Headrick’s religious garbage sucks, the traffic jams suck” means? They now LIKE it.)

(By the way, all you hard working tax paying citizens and residents of San Pedro, I really enjoyed my numerous trips to Wilmington, USA, they have the BIGGEST steaks as you can tell from my svelte figure. Hope you enjoyed paying for it all. SUCKERS.)

This letter was sent to the Ambergris Daily by a concerned citizen and tax payer. Obviously this person is somewhat of a rarity in San Pedro.

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