The Definition of Irony for Ambergris Caye

This is intended to be a funny article, please DO not take it seriously.

OK, so the crime situation is not improving. There are 2 possible solutions.

Solution 1. Our Area Rep. the Honourable Manuel Heredia Jr. steps up to the plate and gets the proper financial assistance required for us to enable proper law enforcement on the island. He gets Prime Minister Dean Barrow to actually “Give a Shit” about Belize’s Tax Cash Cow. We are saved! We have Law and Order!

(We will wait while you finish your hysterical and derisive laughter…again, we’re (not) trying to BE SERIOUS here).

Solution 2.

The law-abiding, tax-paying citizens of Ambergris Caye decide they’ve had enough. They know that a disaster is just around the corner and to save tourism and their livelihoods on the island immediate and drastic action must be taken. The most influential businesspeople,  mothers, children, hard working husbands, community minded citizens and  those odd politicians who care form a big and powerful group and decide that no more taxes will be sent to Belmopan. The taxes will remain here and will be used to hire, train and equip Ambergris Caye’s own police force. A proper jail will be built. Non-Ambergris Caye based citizens with no legal means of making a living will be deported.

Because Customs and Immigration also collect taxes in the form of duties and fees the citizens of Ambergris Caye decide to set up their own Customs and Immigration. The  tax revenues (currently, and some would say stupidly, sent to Belmopan) now remain on the island generating income for road building, a better hospital, an improved airport which can now take jetliners from the USA….all sorts of good things….Ambergris Caye is suddenly quite rich and a great place for law-abiding citizens to live (all others are either deported or in the new modern but thoroughly escape proof and unpleasant jail called “Keithville”).

Now Mr. Barrow and the Government of Belize in general are worried. This looks like a revolution, it looks like a bid for independence from Belize by Ambergris Caye! They can’t have that! Belize would be thrust into abject poverty without those taxes! The Rebellion must be quashed! Send in the best police, send in the Army! Arrest all lawbreakers, try them, jail them!

Which is ironic because then the citizens of Ambergris Caye would have Law and Order  which is what they were after in the first place.

As we said, this is “Solution 2.”



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