A letter in support of Mayor Paz

Dear Ambergris Daily,

I am not sure I approve of the tone of some of your recent reporting on the progress of the new Town Clock and its connection with our beloved Mayor Paz. Your problem is that you don’t understand  what the mayor’s responsibilities are. Allow me to explain:

The mayor’s duties include ensuring that the streets are graded 4 times a year so that they are passable 60% of the time.  Mosquito spraying is another duty of the mayor and it is important to wait until the biting pests are ALL hatched and biting before breaking out the sprayer twice a year. Other mayoral duties include taking credit for paving 1000 yards of road every 8 years, flying off to major U.S. towns to “twin” with San Pedro to buy 2nd hand road sweepers which last 3 days and, finally and most importantly, turning a blind eye when shady land thefts occur on the mayor’s watch with the active participation of sitting town councilors.

Now, I think you will agree that Mayor Paz has fulfilled her duties as listed above with 100% success. Because of this it is essential that she is well rewarded for a job well done. Yes, it’s possible that she went into terrible debt with her ill-advised Middle Street condo project.  But, every cloud brings a silver lining and in this case the new Town Clock fit the bill nicely.

One could argue that if the mayor sold a couple of her condos to Mr. Headrick, well known evangelist advertising tycoon and owner of Ramon’s Village, and, at the same time the new clock sprung up with Ramon’s advertising all over it and, at the same time, the Mayor has a brand new $50,000US jeep on the mainland  that this might seem improper. Not so! As we have already seen the mayor has fulfilled her responsibilities splendidly for Ambergris Caye and it is only fair that a foreign entity should step forward and offer to (a) pay for the clock and (b) ensure that the mayor avoids an embarrassing bank foreclosure scandal. Such largesse is good for the town.

I would also argue that it’s no use the Ambergris Daily writing articles critical of this San Pedro politician – foreign businessman relationship. Bear in mind the mayor’s hands are now tied. She cannot legally have the advertising removed from the clock because then she would be in breach of contract with Mr. Headrick, a contract she probably signed on behalf of the whole island. Breach of said contract would mean we would all be in serious legal trouble! We don’t want the mayor breaking the law on our behalf by breaking the contract by having the clock removed!

You have to understand, when people enter politics on Ambergris Caye they’re only trying to make a living. They go through a lot of insults during every election campaign and it is only fair that they acquire as much wealth as possible during their term in office. We are a democracy, after all!

Finally, please lay off the mayor because if she was to give the money back to Mr. Headrick the town would probably be sued and I don’t want to go to court for breach of contract. Also, some of those religious messages on the Headrick Tropic Air billboard are quite menacing and I don’t fancy getting struck by lightning in the near future.

Thank You.

A concerned reader.

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